Get over it ALREADY!

I love photographs. There are thousands of pictures of my babies and they're only five years old and two months old. It's mind-boggling to think about how many billions, no trillions, no gazillions (lol) of photographs there probably are out in the world, all because of the digital revolution.

My first digital camera opened up a whole new world for me. I LOVED seeing the pictures I took in real-time without them being polaroids (another camera I was gaga for). I took thousands of pictures....a huge majority being of myself :P I was a teenager refining my look, and my digital camera was my mentor. Its biggest lesson: my ridiculously thin eyebrows didn't suit my face.

My husband still makes fun of me to this day when he finds on my camera phone pictures I took of myself after taking some of our children. But the truth is, if I didn't take pictures of myself, there wouldn't be very many of me at all because I am usually behind the camera. If I'm not behind the camera, then my children are still the main focus because they're so darn CUTE, so there really aren't many pictures of me besides the ones I take.

The first photograph I was truly proud of was that of a pelican on the jetty in Venice, FL. The composition was breathtaking. A large brown pelican peacefully sitting on these gigantic rocks, the beautiful Gulf of Mexico in the background. Ok, so the Gulf isn't the most beautiful body of water, but I'm a fan. And I still have that photo.

Until now, I've refused to tell people I was interested in photography as a career. Despite what people think when they meet me, I am pretty shy. I fake it well because I am friendly and like to make people laugh, but I protect my vulnerable side like a momma bird sits on her eggs.

Before I voice my passions, I like them to be mature so I can be confident enough. But confident enough for what? Even if all of the sudden I wanted to be a cheerleading instructor, my close friends and family wouldn't kill my dream with negativity despite me never being a cheerleader. But I still can't bare to let anyone know what I want or what I am capable of until I feel proud of it.

I loved art classes in high school, yet I couldn't STAND...I mean COULD NOT STAND drawing or painting or sculpting anything in a room full of my peers. There was no rational reason. It's not like people were staring at me (though I was paranoid they were).

I would barely get a thing done in class, so when I brought my finished works to class, people must have thought I was getting my big brother to do them or something. People were always impressed, and I won awards for every piece I produced.

I'm so mad at myself for not being more of a risk taker. I never get shot down, so why do I wait and wait and wait? Why do I torture myself?

It's time to be a risk taker and shout out to the world what I want.

I want to be a professional photographer! Most of all, A WEDDING PHOTOGRAPHER!

There. I said it. I'm soooo tempted to delete this, so before I do. PUBLISH.

I took this of myself....duh :-P

xo
jbnewcomb<3

I'd get Married 7 Times, but to the Same Guy

I've always been in love with L<3VE and all that hallmark gushiness celebrating it: love poems, romantic movies, gifts of chocolate, cards, and, of course, weddings.

Ever since I was a little girl, I’ve been obsessed with the idea of one-in-a-million romantic love, the Cinderella fantasy of meeting one’s true love and being betrothed from that very moment on.

My first crush was in pre-school, and though it changed every year, I loved with a passion so great that I convinced myself I would marry each one.

This went waaay beyond writing “Mrs. [crush’s last name]” like most girls. My mind was so preoccupied with my infatuations that in third grade, I secretly wrote “I love Scott” on the bottom of my friend’s shoe when we were all sitting on the floor watching something (of course I can’t remember what because my mind was only focused on love), and my friend later discovered it and told the teacher. Our teacher asked the mysterious vandal to confess, but I didn’t.

Ok, so you could call my obsession borderline crazy….90% of my thoughts were devoted to love. “I love so and so” or “does he love me?” were buzzing through my mind all day long. The only games I played with my Barbies were about getting married or having a family.

I can distinctly remember being six years old and receiving the most beautiful wedding-themed Barbie and Ken. Looking back, their attire was clearly expensive and they were most likely collectible; Barbie had an intricately laced ball gown complete with lingerie and white thigh high pantyhose.

Because I was an only child and didn’t have any siblings to whine at me about playing the same thing over and over, I played “wedding” for hours upon hours, particularly enacting the ceremony, the kiss, and the first dance. If I’d had more friends to play with on my street, maybe I would have given other games a chance, but probably not! hahaha

As I got a bit older, I obsessively fantasized about what my wedding would look like. I’m sure no one would be surprised when I say my Mom was concerned when I asked her to buy me wedding magazines in the checkout lane at the grocery store. Because I was eleven when inspired to begin this hobby, I did my best to convince her that I just loved weddings and wasn’t thinking of getting married anytime soon. (Though I sooo would have run away with any one of my crushes if they’d asked.) She gave in, and I couldn’t tell you how many dresses, bouquets and cakes I cut out and paste into an idea book.

This continued until I got married, and a couple years into my marriage, my husband caught me looking at wedding gowns on the internet. He kidded when he asked if I was going to marry someone else. To rationalize my hobby, I have since then decided we will have a recommitment ceremony on 7/7/2014, exactly seven years after our wedding on 7/7/2007 (seven corresponds with Venus and Venus is the planet that rules love). Yes, I am that crazy about love and crazy in love with my husband.

I’m very lucky in love, and I think it’s because I have given it a lot of thought! I found my perfect Ken and he thinks I look like Barbie. What a doll he is! Pun intended. :-P For our next wedding, I make collages on the computer. Thanks internet and Publisher…you’re a crazy-passionate girl’s best friend! :-)

The Dream Come True!

xo

jbnewcomb<3