Get over it ALREADY!

I love photographs. There are thousands of pictures of my babies and they're only five years old and two months old. It's mind-boggling to think about how many billions, no trillions, no gazillions (lol) of photographs there probably are out in the world, all because of the digital revolution.

My first digital camera opened up a whole new world for me. I LOVED seeing the pictures I took in real-time without them being polaroids (another camera I was gaga for). I took thousands of pictures....a huge majority being of myself :P I was a teenager refining my look, and my digital camera was my mentor. Its biggest lesson: my ridiculously thin eyebrows didn't suit my face.

My husband still makes fun of me to this day when he finds on my camera phone pictures I took of myself after taking some of our children. But the truth is, if I didn't take pictures of myself, there wouldn't be very many of me at all because I am usually behind the camera. If I'm not behind the camera, then my children are still the main focus because they're so darn CUTE, so there really aren't many pictures of me besides the ones I take.

The first photograph I was truly proud of was that of a pelican on the jetty in Venice, FL. The composition was breathtaking. A large brown pelican peacefully sitting on these gigantic rocks, the beautiful Gulf of Mexico in the background. Ok, so the Gulf isn't the most beautiful body of water, but I'm a fan. And I still have that photo.

Until now, I've refused to tell people I was interested in photography as a career. Despite what people think when they meet me, I am pretty shy. I fake it well because I am friendly and like to make people laugh, but I protect my vulnerable side like a momma bird sits on her eggs.

Before I voice my passions, I like them to be mature so I can be confident enough. But confident enough for what? Even if all of the sudden I wanted to be a cheerleading instructor, my close friends and family wouldn't kill my dream with negativity despite me never being a cheerleader. But I still can't bare to let anyone know what I want or what I am capable of until I feel proud of it.

I loved art classes in high school, yet I couldn't STAND...I mean COULD NOT STAND drawing or painting or sculpting anything in a room full of my peers. There was no rational reason. It's not like people were staring at me (though I was paranoid they were).

I would barely get a thing done in class, so when I brought my finished works to class, people must have thought I was getting my big brother to do them or something. People were always impressed, and I won awards for every piece I produced.

I'm so mad at myself for not being more of a risk taker. I never get shot down, so why do I wait and wait and wait? Why do I torture myself?

It's time to be a risk taker and shout out to the world what I want.

I want to be a professional photographer! Most of all, A WEDDING PHOTOGRAPHER!

There. I said it. I'm soooo tempted to delete this, so before I do. PUBLISH.

I took this of myself....duh :-P

xo
jbnewcomb<3